Controversy Rages as Mosque Bans Fidget Spinners

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You’ve seen them at school, you’ve seen them at work, and you’ve almost certainly seen them on the internet. They’re fidget spinners, and much like the yo-yos, Pokemon Go’s and Flappy Birds that came before them, they’re the craze currently distracting the nation’s youth from homework and maintaining eye contact.

Seeing as the three-pronged piece of metal does nothing more than spin, we’ve wondered why they’re so popular. As we live in the age of online debate, when every theory ever conceived has been picked apart in op-eds, scathing tweets and scorching hot takes, we briefly considered this: Does the fidget spinner, with its inconsequential singular function, actually represent the times in which we live, where, despite the uncertainties surrounding the likes of politics, Arsenal Fan TV and the age of that guy who reviews chicken shops, the world, much like the spinner, continues to turn?

But then we thought, Nah. Not this time. Why should we over-analyse everything? Why do we affix greater meaning to something that is, at most, pretty cool because it’s fun to hold while it spins (which it does for a really long time).

Why? Well, maybe because fidget spinning is now banned. Or at least not allowed in one particular mosque in New Zealand.

According to Stuff, the Imam of Masjid e Umar in Mount Roskill banned the gadget from the mosque before the start of evening Ramadan prayers. Explaining the move, he said: ‘This fidget spinner announcement is a non-event really. We do not allow people to use other devices inside the mosque. It’s a respect thing.’

While the New Zealand press clearly thought otherwise, we’re prone to agree with the Imam. A mosque is a place of prayer and reflection, and a fidget spinner is probably not going to facilitate either of those things. We’re not denying that a three-stack of spinners in full flow isn’t a majestic sight, all we’re saying is that there’s always enough time away from the mosque to witness this gripping spectacle.

As Irfan Baig, mosque-goer and father of fidget spinning fan Rehan, said: ‘We are there to pray not play.’

Quote of the year? Yes. Extremely true? Yes.

The fidget spinner might not contain any deeper symbolism within its rotating blades, but it’s certainly one symbol of 2017. So all that’s left to do now is throw this issue to the floor. What do you think of this fidget spinning ban? Do you think it’s wrong? Or do you think it should be extended to schools, offices and university campuses? Are you a fidget spinning aficionado? Or do you want to throw the next one you see into a skip?

Let us know what in the Facebook comments.

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